Every parent has struggled with getting their child to follow instructions, especially when it comes to teenagers who seem to tune everything out. It can be frustrating to repeat yourself a hundred times and feel like you’re being ignored. However, the way we communicate with kids plays a major role in whether they listen or not.

Instead of nagging or yelling, using psychological techniques can make a huge difference. Here are some powerful strategies to help your child pay attention, cooperate, and even respond positively to your requests.

Stop Repeating Yourself

If you find yourself repeating the same instructions over and over, it’s time to switch strategies. Kids quickly learn that if there are no immediate consequences, they don’t have to listen right away. When parents constantly repeat themselves, children tune out, knowing they can ignore the request until the parent reaches a breaking point.

What to do instead:

• Give clear, one-time instructions.
• If they don’t respond, follow up with a consequence or an action.
• Maintain eye contact when speaking so they understand you mean business.

Video: Psychology Tricks that work on Kids

Let Your Child Feel in Control

Kids, especially teenagers, are more likely to cooperate when they feel like they have some control over the situation. Instead of ordering them around, try using “when-then” statements.

Examples:

• “When you finish your homework, then you can play video games.”
• “When you clean your room, then we can go to the park.”

This approach makes them feel like they’re making the decision, rather than being forced into something.

Avoid Nagging – It Doesn’t Work

Nagging makes children feel frustrated, manipulated, and even rebellious. If you constantly pester your child, they may start to ignore you altogether.

Why nagging backfires:

• It makes kids feel like they can’t do anything right.
• It reduces your authority—they stop taking your words seriously.
• They learn that if they wait long enough, the nagging will stop, and they won’t have to do anything.

Solution: Give one clear instruction, followed by a natural consequence if they don’t comply. Instead of nagging about dirty dishes, say, “If the dishes aren’t done by 7 PM, you won’t have dessert tonight.” Then, stick to it.

Make Kids Think for Themselves

Rather than constantly reminding your child about rules, try making them recall the information on their own. This technique encourages critical thinking and responsibility.

Example: Instead of saying, “Don’t forget to look both ways before crossing the street,” ask, “What do we do before we cross the street?”

This forces them to engage their memory, making it more likely they’ll remember the rule next time.

Gain Their Attention Before Speaking

Children get easily absorbed in activities, whether it’s watching TV, playing video games, or reading. If you try to talk to them while they’re focused on something else, they likely won’t hear you at all.

How to get their attention:

• Go to them instead of yelling from another room.
• Make physical contact—gently touch their shoulder or hand.
• Lower your voice to make them curious about what you’re about to say.

This ensures they are fully engaged before you even start talking.

Try Whispering Instead of Yelling

Parents often raise their voice when their kids don’t listen, but over time, children become immune to shouting. Instead of yelling, lower your voice to a whisper.

Why whispering works:

• It makes kids focus harder to hear what you’re saying.
• It breaks their expectation—they’re used to hearing a loud voice, so a whisper surprises them.
• It has a calming effect, making them more likely to cooperate.

If you find yourself shouting often, try whispering instead and watch how quickly it changes their response.

Give Instructions in Small Doses

Children’s brains, especially those under seven years old, can only hold one or two pieces of information at a time. Older kids and adults can remember three to five things at once. If you overload your child with too many instructions at once, they will forget most of what you said.

What to do instead:

• Keep instructions short and simple.
• Give one task at a time rather than a long list.
• Use visual cues or written reminders if needed.

By breaking information into smaller parts, your child is more likely to understand and follow through.

Help Them Understand How Their Behavior Affects Others

Children need to learn empathy, and one of the best ways to teach it is by helping them see how their actions impact others.

Instead of blaming or shaming, explain how their behavior makes you feel.

Example:

• Instead of saying, “Stop whining, it’s annoying!” say “Your whining tells me you’re tired. Let’s take a break.”
• Instead of “Stop hitting your brother!” say “When you hit him, it makes him feel hurt and sad.”

This approach encourages emotional awareness, making kids more likely to regulate their behavior in the future.

Love Your Child for Who They Are

Some parents get frustrated with their child’s behavior not because of the child but because of how others perceive them. For example, if a child has a public meltdown, a parent may feel embarrassed, fearing judgment from others.

However, children need to feel unconditional love and acceptance, even when they make mistakes.

How to build trust:

• Accept that no child is perfect—they will make mistakes, but that’s part of learning.
• Focus on progress, not perfection.
• Show love and support consistently, even when their behavior isn’t ideal.

Children who feel loved and accepted are more likely to listen, respect their parents, and develop healthy self-esteem.

Bonus: What to Say When Your Child Finally Listens

It’s easy to get frustrated when kids don’t listen, but it’s just as important to acknowledge when they do.

Instead of taking their good behavior for granted, try saying:

• “Thank you for listening to me and doing what I asked. That really helps.”
• “I appreciate you cleaning up without me asking twice. That was responsible.”
• “You did a great job following the rules today. I’m really proud of you.”

Positive reinforcement motivates kids to continue cooperating in the future.

Video: 19 Simple Psychological Tricks That Actually Work

Getting children to listen doesn’t have to be a constant battle. By changing your approach, avoiding nagging, and using psychological techniques, you can build better communication, trust, and cooperation with your child.

It’s not about controlling them—it’s about teaching them responsibility, empathy, and respect in a way that makes them want to listen. Try these techniques today and see the difference they can make!