Let’s be honest—raising girls today isn’t what it used to be. The world’s changing fast, and so should the way we parent. The “good girl” concept? Yeah, that’s old news. Because let’s face it, “good” often just meant “quiet,” “obedient,” and “easy to manage.” But those traits don’t raise leaders, innovators, or women who set boundaries.

I’ve got two daughters, and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: I don’t want them to grow up thinking they need to be polite over powerful, or agreeable over authentic. I want them to be happy, free-thinking, confident girls who grow into women who know their worth. Here’s how I’m making that happen—and how you can, too.

Video: Three Things I Learned Raising Daughters

Praise What She Controls, Not Just How She Looks

We’ve all been guilty of blurting out, “You look so pretty!” without a second thought. And yeah, compliments are great—but not when they become the only thing your daughter hears.

Instead, shift the focus to what she does. Say things like, “You were so focused while building that Lego castle,” or “I saw how patient you were helping your sister—that was awesome.” This teaches her that effort matters, and beauty isn’t the only thing worth celebrating.

And yes, tell her she’s beautiful, too—just make sure it’s not the first (or only) thing you say.

Let Her Push Back

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but when your daughter argues, don’t shut her down. That’s her practicing how to assert herself. Encourage her to express her opinions—even when they contradict yours.

When she gets used to respectfully disagreeing with you, she builds the muscle to do the same with teachers, friends, partners, and bosses later in life. It’s not about raising a rebel. It’s about raising a thinker.

Give Her the Steering Wheel Early

Decision-making starts young. If she can pick between apples or bananas at breakfast, she can eventually pick what sport to try or which friend to invite over.

Letting her make choices—even small ones—helps her grow into someone who trusts her instincts. And sure, she’ll make some weird choices along the way (like mismatched shoes or peanut butter on pancakes), but that’s part of the process.

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Feed Her Passions, Not Just Her Schedule

Every kid’s got something that lights them up. For one, it’s art. For another, it’s math, music, or even something totally random like collecting rocks.

Your job isn’t to mold her into your idea of “successful.” It’s to support her curiosity, even if her interests change weekly. Let her try things. Let her fail. Let her switch gears. A passionate girl is a confident one, and confidence is her armor in a noisy world.

Let Her Fall and Figure Things Out

We’ve all had that urge to jump in and fix everything. A school conflict? You’re tempted to email the teacher. A playground tiff? You want to step in and mediate.

But kids build problem-solving skills by living through the mess. Let her come up with her own solutions first. Be there to guide her—but don’t be the one always sweeping the path clean. She’ll grow stronger when she learns she’s capable.

Encourage Calculated Risk-Taking

Risk doesn’t always mean danger—it means stepping into the unknown, and that’s where growth lives.

Whether it’s joining a new club, trying a different hairstyle, or speaking up in class, give her space to stretch. Fear is natural, but courage comes from facing it—little by little.

She won’t become bold by playing it safe every time. Show her that trying something scary—and surviving it—is how she finds her power.

Make Reading Fun and Interactive

Reading time can either feel like a chore or a magical adventure. Which one it becomes is up to you.

Turn reading into a two-way experience. Ask her questions about the plot. Let her make predictions. Have her read a few lines aloud. Even if she’s small, let her turn the pages and ask questions about the pictures. When books become a conversation, kids start craving them—and that’s how a lifelong love of learning begins.

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Rethink the Classic Fairy Tales

Yes, fairy tales have their flaws. But you don’t have to cancel Cinderella—you just have to flip the script.

Talk about what the stories really mean. Ask, “What would you have done if you were in her shoes?” or “Was that fair?” Suddenly, it’s not about waiting for a prince—it’s about resilience, problem-solving, and finding your own voice.

Fairy tales don’t need to be sugar-coated—they just need fresh conversations.

Stop Clearing Every Obstacle

Esther Wojcicki, an education expert and mom to three powerhouse daughters (including the CEO of YouTube), says modern parents baby their kids too much. She calls it “snowplow parenting”—clearing every bump in the road before the child even sees it.

And she’s not wrong. If your daughter never faces frustration or challenge, how will she ever know she can survive it? It’s okay to let her struggle a little. It builds resilience, grit, and confidence.

Raise a Girl Who Leads, Not Just Follows

We don’t need more girls who fit neatly into boxes. We need girls who break the mold—girls who ask tough questions, take risks, and trust themselves.

So don’t just tell your daughter she can be anything. Show her. Let her know it’s okay to mess up, change her mind, and stand up for herself—even when it’s hard. That’s how leaders are made.

Your daughter doesn’t need to grow up being a “good girl.” She needs to grow up knowing she’s enough—strong enough to speak up, smart enough to make her own choices, and bold enough to chase whatever lights her up.

That means giving her space, trust, and permission to be fully herself—even when that version isn’t always easy to parent. Because the truth is, a girl who knows her worth will grow into a woman who knows how to thrive.

And that’s the kind of girl the world needs more of.