Marriage often brings two people closer than they’ve ever been to anyone else—both emotionally and physically. Yet, as one nutrition coach and strength specialist from Las Vegas, Ingri Pauline, recently pointed out, some things might be best kept private. Her viral post sparked an intense online debate when she shared her list of things wives should never let their husbands witness. While some applauded her stance, others vehemently disagreed. So, where do we draw the line between intimacy and personal boundaries in a relationship?

Ingri Pauline’s list included several common yet personal activities, such as:

• Pooping
• Popping zits
• Plucking facial hair (besides eyebrows)
• Doing face masks
• Waxing a bikini line
• Wearing outfits you’d be embarrassed to be seen in publicly

Pauline’s argument boiled down to preserving mystery and maintaining an air of “ladylike” behavior around one’s partner. According to her, keeping certain habits or routines private helps to avoid being viewed as merely a roommate or companion, instead maintaining the allure that first drew a couple together.

In her comments, Pauline emphasized that “good manners” are essential in a marriage, comparing them to an “insurance policy” against the monotony that can sometimes set in during long-term relationships. She argued that presenting one’s best self and avoiding oversharing certain moments helps preserve romance and intimacy.

“My husband knows I go to the bathroom, and I come out looking and feeling better. That’s it. I like to keep it that way as much as possible,” she stated. According to Pauline, this boundary allows her husband to continue viewing her as a “lady,” keeping their dynamic respectful and engaging.

Unsurprisingly, Pauline’s perspective wasn’t universally applauded. Many social media users quickly criticized the list, arguing that relationships thrive on authenticity rather than curated presentations. One user humorously pointed out, “If my husband held my hand while I pooped after childbirth, I’m pretty sure he can handle a face mask.”

Other netizens echoed the sentiment, with one commenting, “Marriage is about unconditional love—flaws, quirks, and all. There’s no reason to hide parts of ourselves that are completely natural.” For these individuals, Pauline’s philosophy seemed to undermine the very foundation of intimacy that comes from being wholly accepted by one’s partner.

However, not everyone dismissed Pauline’s advice. Supporters agreed with her call for maintaining an air of mystery in relationships. One commenter noted, “An air of mystery should be preserved even after marriage. Just as there are things I don’t want to see him doing, there are things he shouldn’t have to see me doing either.”

These individuals believe that some boundaries can actually strengthen a relationship, ensuring both partners maintain a level of respect and admiration for each other. To them, treating each other with care and courtesy—such as avoiding overly intimate or “unglamorous” moments—helps reinforce the romance and avoids the risk of complacency.

This debate isn’t new. In fact, different cultures have long held varying opinions on the levels of transparency appropriate in romantic relationships. In some societies, couples are encouraged to embrace full honesty, while others advocate for maintaining clear boundaries to protect the spark of attraction.

For example, in traditional Western marriages, “beauty secrets” were often kept hidden from husbands to maintain the illusion of effortlessness. However, modern approaches have shifted toward celebrating authenticity and rejecting gender stereotypes. The juxtaposition of these perspectives reveals the tension between historical norms and evolving cultural attitudes about relationships.

Perhaps the most important takeaway from this discussion is that every relationship is unique. While some couples thrive on complete openness, others find comfort in maintaining a level of personal privacy. The key is communication—understanding what works for both partners and finding a balance between comfort and respect.

For instance, one partner may feel perfectly comfortable wearing a face mask or plucking stray hairs in front of their spouse, while another might prefer to reserve those moments for private time. There’s no universal rulebook for marriage, and couples must determine for themselves what helps maintain their bond.

Even for those who disagreed with Pauline’s list, many agreed with her underlying point about the importance of good manners in marriage. Expressing gratitude, using kind words, and treating your partner with consideration can go a long way in preserving a happy and respectful relationship.

Pauline explained, “Just like your husband should be the person who gets the MOST of your manners—please, thank you, welcome home, I love you—you should also be mindful of presenting yourself as a lady, if that’s the dynamic you wish to maintain.”

This perspective highlights the fact that good manners and small gestures of appreciation can make a big difference in keeping a marriage alive and thriving.

Pauline’s post is just one of countless opinions on relationships shared online. Platforms like X (formerly Twitter) have become spaces for individuals to voice their experiences and advice, sparking debates that often reflect deeper societal attitudes. While these discussions can be enlightening, they also remind us that no two relationships are alike. What works for one couple might not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay.

The heated debate over Pauline’s list highlights the diversity of opinions surrounding privacy and boundaries in marriage. Whether you agree with her perspective or lean toward complete transparency, the lesson is clear: relationships require effort, respect, and communication.

Ultimately, the goal is to create a dynamic that fosters love, support, and mutual understanding. Whether that involves keeping certain routines private or sharing every moment with your partner, the choice belongs to each couple. The most important thing is that both partners feel valued, respected, and connected—no matter what side of the debate they fall on.